So I was feeling discouraged a few days ago. I had all these great plans and great ideas, and somehow great things have a habit of crumbling. For me in particular, it's hard not to get carried away with my work. I'm always trying to improve something, whether it's my math, my business, my writing...It's easy to lose track of life itself in all the things we do to exist. My discouragement culminated until I had no choice but to shut off my phone, close my notebook, and leave the computer. And instead of moping, I decided to go outside. Usually I hate being outside because of allergies. I also hate the spring. And I'm not necessarily a fan of sunny weather. But that day, it was all I needed. I sat down in my front yard. Wildflowers and weeds waved in the wind beside me. And I made a flower crown. Clearly, it wasn't the greatest flower crown, and certainly they weren't the greatest flowers.
Something isn't beautiful because it lasts, though. When all our great plans crumble, perhaps we have remember the little things that stay with us. I think recognizing these small things helps us remember how to live--not just exist. ~priscilla
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All right, so here's an interesting story and a few favorites from a photoshoot with my friends, Emily and Shannon.
The opportunity came up unexpectedly, but I've been learning to make the most of the opportunities you have, and so here are the photos. One thing I've always wanted to do is convey the idea of a person or a personality through photography. I don't want my photos to be a fake mask a person wears: I want to, in a way, capture their personality through a picture. Here's some things Shannon reminds me of. ~friendship and shared laughter. ~home. ~joy. Dragon shaped clouds on a sunny day. ~a sense of belonging. No matter who you are, she has a talent for making anyone feel accepted. ~cartwheeling on a sunny day. ~the kind of happiness that causes sudden bursts of dancing. Here's some things Emily reminds me of. ~Neon lights. The way a city twinkles in the darkness. ~A kind of solace: like a river in a pocket of forest that not many know about. ~This is weird, but fishing? I know you don't have anything to do with fishing (Emily) but the way it's associated with shade and relaxation and hearing the birds chirp in the woods--that reminds me of you. ~Quiet amiability. ~Someone to be there for you. Oh my gosh, what awesome people you are!! Why do I know so many great people? Thanks for being my friends, guys, and for all our fun times together :) *raises glass of sparkling grape juice* here's to many more! Okay everyone! Hope you're having a wonderful spring break/throwbackthursday/cloudy day, or school day (?) Really, isn't it interesting how many different ways different people experience the same day? If you're wondering which of the above I'm experiencing, it's spring break. Yes! I had spring break this week, which was awesome. It gave me the chance to work more on my business (even now as I'm visiting my website, I realize it needs work) and learn some new stuff about photography. I know I've titled this post "woes", so here are my current three amateur woes, and then I'll list some ways I'll try to improve. 1. I joined the Jessica Whitaker (have you heard of her? You should look her up, she's great) photography group on Facebook and asked a rather stupid question and received rather scathing answers. That kind of ruined my day, but it's better now. Still, it kind of made me doubt myself. 2. I want to do so many things! But how do I do them? 3. I'm such a perfectionist, it seems to take forever to do the littlest things. Everyone seems like they're racing on ahead of me while I'm lagging behind. So Those were the Woes. Now here is what I've learned from them.
1. Yes, that sucked, but it did remind me how much I have to learn. My purpose coming into photography was to share God's love with people and create beautiful things to encourage and inspire people, and I have to remember that purpose whenever I waver. I don't just want to be a copy paste, cookie cutter photography business. Just like a different camera angle can change the entire picture, I want to take things we think are ugly or broken and allow us to see them as beautiful. That's what Jesus did. He came from terrible places (like Nazareth: "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?") and he completely changed the way we think about them. So basically, if anyone has abused you, or hurt you, you have to remember your purpose and fight for it harder. 2. The "how." People, when starting out, are always...imperfect. And you know what? I think that's okay. One of the best examples I have of this is a movie called Whisper of the Heart, where the grandfather compares an amateur artist to a geode. Geodes (and artists) might contain jewels inside, but it takes years to chip away the dull rock covering it. 3. Now, perfectionism is something I'll have to work on. My work gives me joy, gives me inspiration--but I can't let it consume my life. It's humbling, I suppose, to understand the fact that you are just starting out and to anyone who's starting out, or a long way through--don't wait until things are "just right" or "perfect" to do them. You can't create the right timing. You'll never create the perfect photo. You'll never write the world's greatest story. So while we can't create that, we do have opportunities, and it's our job to jump on them while they last. ~priscilla |